Friday, June 29, 2007

Weird quotes from work 6-29-2007

"...So let me understand this, you wanna take a cruise that is going to house a developers conference. Isn't that kind of like hosting a seminar in a strip club while trying to solve Pi?.."

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Weird quotes from work 6-27-2007

"...Ghost beer: Light on carbs and stuff..."

Co-worker: You're suck a dork

"Ghost dork"

meh...it was random and it was centered around my wife killing me and me haunting her by sitting on the couch and drinking beer. ok, that's enough from me

Say hello to my little friend

9:40 pm, El Rancho De Braco

It's been a hard long day at work for my wife. She works at a clinic and spends most of her day dealing with medic-aid patients all day. What is left of her day after the medic-aid people are the real patients.

She has just finished feeding the lil' one and put her to bed. She is worn out and asks me to do the dishes knowing full well that half of them will get done.

Making her way to the master bathroom she engages in womanly duties. She begins to hear a softy dull scratching noise. She really can't pin where its coming from... she looks around and....where?.....there it is! She sees this staring her in the face

She came out of our room screaming! And I kid you not, this thing had to be a foot long and an inch wide. It was freaking huge!

I wrestled with it for about five minutes on the ceiling of my bathroom and managed to get it into the pooper. *FLUSH*

I told my wife that if she is taking time to smell the roses starts to get tickled to jump up and run.

Monday, June 25, 2007

My wish list is paying off

No sooner than that day...or maybe the day after I had a win. Using my wish list, a person bought the Firefly series and one of the economic books I wanted! I want to thank all my hordes of faithful...reader for buying that for me.

Edit: I looked at my credit card bill and realized that I bought them. Soooooooo, *whistles*.....yup...........how about the White Socks this year, huh? ok, gotta run. bye!

Chinese Food

I have a sweet spot for Chinese food. I can also confirm that I am a little spoiled, or is it fine tuned, when it comes to Chinese food. I have had the privilege of eating real Chinese food from a real Chinese person. Wait, .... did I say that right? Hrmmmm, what I mean is that a friends mother is from China and is talked highly about her cooking. I think that is what I meant.

Anywho, she was a strong Taoist and it reflected in her cooking....which was soooo-oo-oo-ooooo good. Hot and cold, sweet and spicy, you get the idea. Even now I am drooling over the thought of her cooking....*whimper*

Oh yeah...So this was a total surprise! My wife found a Chinese food place out here in the boonies! I have been craving Chinese food and there is nothing better on a rainy day than Chinese take out. Which we have had a mess of rainy days lately. Not that I am complaining! I love the rain.

I might be placing an order in to the Hao-Ling-Kat Palace. I feel the need for some Chinese food tonight.

Starcraft 2

Speaking of some good ol' fashion make-believe genocide, I see Star Craft 2 is coming out! I used to play the original for hours with one of the two roommates I ever liked and got along with, Quinn and Jason. Jason and I would come home from work, fill up our personal coolers with beers, and head to our rooms and proceed with a network game of Star Craft until the wee hours of the morning.

We would wake up with hangovers, not enough sleep, and an intense desire to eat a greasy breakfast. Off to work we would go and look forward to another night of playing video games.

And yes, now that I look back at it.......it was the smart thing to do. While everyone else my age was heading down town to get drunk on $5 beers and shimmy up to the hotty with the clap, I was at home saving green. Gaming does have its perks! By the way, that money mostly made its way into my IRA.......mostly.

Blog things

Man, blogging is starting to become its own job!

I am starting to fall behind on the posts. Not that I don't have something to post about. I have plenty to post about. And really, when I think about it... most of it stems from my digital camera. See I have been taking a bunch of pictures for you folks about all the mishaps, repairs, and clean-ups I have been doing. Problem is I cannot find the cable for my digital camera so I can get the pictures off. I have been using the throw away cameras but they don't always do a good job and its kind of a crap shoot on what kind of picture you are going to get. Like the Dryer pics, I could only use half of them!

I'll admit that it is also a streak of being lazy. With cleaning up the meth lab (Its a tool shed, calm down DEA...go look at the pics and you'll see why it has the NAME not the function) and getting the work bench made, BBQ'ing, and some A/C repair work.....blogging takes second seat. Nope, in my spare time I am blowing up zerg!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Wish list

I admit it! I am a modern day Jezebel! I want to turn towards material and immoral things such as reading, intellectual conversation, philosophy, and a sense of self liberty. Such things only bring misery and dire for my fellow comrades! How can I just sit here and dare to flaunt my total disrespect for the greater good of my brother of the motherland?!?! These things that I want have been discovered by men smarter than I and deemed to be a deviation from our true goals of brotherhood!

Yeah....well crap aside, Amazon is going to help me in my devious ways. If you look at the bottom of this blog you'll see my wish list. Buy me something and bask in greedy, evil, capitalism!

All hail Baal! And the Dark Lord Xanu! And Hale-Bopp!

Edit: Well either Amazon didn't code the wish list correctly or the Scientology people are after me. either way my list wish doesn't work so I took it down. Booville!

Beatboxing is still alive......in France

This is actually pretty neat. Enjoy

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

South Carolina Fire Fighters

I rarely ever do this but something in me today just pressures me to follow my will on this and make a post about it.

I normally save my praise of our service men and woman for private affairs. Confined to personal e-mails,phone calls, or hand shake I choose the more intimate path on my praise. I don't go around waving the American Flag like some baboon, which is a whole different story.

I like to believe that I know what the true meaning of public servant is about, even when the servant themselves does not. And before the hate mail pours in, just remember this is what I think. It is not law, or ordinance, or my will to be obeyed. And of course, interpretation is different for everyone.

Let me premise that no man or woman in public service should ever be considered above in virtue or morals above the common citizen. A public servant is, in the end, a volunteer servant. A person that is able to serve citizens at large according to their vocation. Either through an intense desire to develop bonds stronger through their service or through a realized trait that is wished to be applied in their chosen manner.

Through the armed forces with their common defense for the States United, to the Sheriff of these counties that bring charges of violations of rights to the courts of men, to Fire Fighters that risk life and limb to protect and preserve life and property.... these our are public servants.

I would like to extend my sympathy to the South Carolina, Charleston Fire Fighter company. To my accounts Nine of their finest and bravest gave their lives in pursuit of the preservation of private property. One of the basic, if not the basic, tenet of our Republic for these States United is the Right of Private Property. Protecting this tenet holds a great honor with me.

I always find it a shame that anyone passes away. We people have been gifted to give so much and it seems that one life time is never enough. Be it as it may, we do have to leave this ball of dirt. It is a fact that refuses to change and always claims the finest and the brightest regardless of virtue or valuer. But in my remorse for these fallen I can find solace that they lost their lives not to old age and a failing body but to a sense of service that made them who they are. Their death is merely their Earthly shell, may their memory live on. I know it will in this blog......... I will add their names when they are released.

edit

Capt. William “Billy” Hutchinson, 48

Capt. Mike Benke, 49

Capt. Louis Mulkey, 34

Engineer Mark Kelsey, 40

Engineer Bradford “Brad” Baity, 37

Assistant Engineer Michael French, 27

Firefighter James “Earl” Drayton, 56

Firefighter Brandon Thompson, 27

Firefighter Melven Champaign, 46



post script edit: Thanks AD... its a comforting to know that you agree-in-like. :)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Rock N' Dirt! Oh yeeeah!

Recently I have become a huge Craig's List troll and I check the site about every hour. I am finding so many things that I need and all for free, yeah I go to the free forum. From fences to wood to whatever.

So lately it has been about rocks! In my area we have HUGE slabs of lime stone. Which is great, really. I plan to build a BBQ, stone and mortar the skirt of my house, lay down a drive way, make a side walk....all with this lime stone.

Well it seems that someone on the south shore of the lake has build himself a very nice house. He also happens to have a large pile of dirt and limestone rocks. All of which made itself onto Craig's list and found its way into my truck!

Woo hoo, free rocks and I don't have to dig them up!

I know......boring post. But I think it rocks!

Bobcats

For those of you that don't know, I live in Texas. The country of, not the state of. The only "state of" here in Texas is the state of mind. Just a little primer for you non-Texas folks. Nothin' personal

Living in Texas means that summer gets hot, or so they tell me. Then again I have been called crazy for playing golf in 108° heat with a long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. I just don't see it getting hot down hear but I'll take everyones word on it. On a side note, Yankees steer clear during the summer. I've seen several of you poor folks melt on the sidewalk and I just can't take it anymore. I can still hear the screams!

ok.......crud. I think I misplaced the point of this post. Under the keyboard...no. hmmmm, in the desk draw...noooo, oh here it is! So the heat! So we got a lil' one, and a medium one, and a wifey one, and a grandma one living out at the ranch. No sooner than the sun hitting the roof in the middle of the afternoon does the house turn into a sauna.

Now I was figuring that since we live out in the open (sort of), and the house is kind old (meaning poor insulation), and living on top of a hill (meanin' closer to the sun) that things would indeed get kind of hot. I always resolved to tackle the problem by putting in new insulation and maybe putting ceiling fans in every room.

Now imagen my surprise when I go to crawl under the house (remember I am networking my house and putting in new phone line) and it is cool and I can feel air pressure. In fact it was cool enough to take a nap under the house. This got me to thinking! So after my nap... I start crawling around so I can determine where this cool air pressure is coming from.

Lo and behold I discover a huge hole in my belly paper (A moisture proof layer of plastic under the house) and my A/C system scattered on the ground. Looking at the A/C duct that is still attached to the house there is a 13" gap, as in not there, in the A/C duct. Better said, the A/C is blowing from the system and into the duct work. The air then attempts to travel this 13" gap back into the other side of this gap to supply a flow of air pressure and conditioned air to the house. Hard to apply both when you do not have a solid, one piece, system! But I'll be tickled if my A/C system isn't working its damnist to make it happen.

Now as I look around I can see huge claw marks......somdamn' mammal has made a scratchin' post of my A/C system! Judging by the size of the claw marks it could be a dog, coyote, or bobcat or something freaking huge. I swear on everything holy (all of which exist in Texas) that I'll make a hat out of whatever did this to my house!

Now I got some local folks comin' out to take a look at it (for free I might add). We'll see how much this will cost me. I also gave the insurance folks a call so I can file a claim and at first it wasn't going well.

Me: Yes, hello James. My policy number is xxxxxxxxxxxxx

James the insurance claim taker: ok, Bryan what can I do?

Me: well I need to file a claim. It seems some critter has taken a fancy to the finer things in life. I believe it found my A/C to be palletable and has commenced to make a feastie out of my A/C duct work.

James: Huh?

Me: Some critter destroyed my A/C ducts

James: Oh.....well Bryan I don't believe your insurance covers animal damage.

Me: Really? Well, that is disappointing. Well, what am I going to tell their maker?

James: I don't follow you sir

Me: Their maker....you know, God. The good lord, Christ O' Mighty, The big guy, Buddy Christ? he is going to be awful upset over this and I am sure that he doesn't approve of the critters actions.

James: Sir, I don't know if I am authorized to talk about theology with customers.

Me: I understand but I am just try to determine what I am going to tell him since he is their custodian.

James: I.....uh....*sigh*..what are you saying

Me: Well, since he made them and rules over them, any act that they make is an act that he makes. Simple commerce law. Nothing do difficult.

James: *Silence*

Me: *Silence*

James *Silence*

Me: *Silence*

James: Ok, I'll have a claims adjuster call you today

Me: Thank you James

James: *click*

Monday, June 11, 2007

What's the miter with me?

Well Fathers Day is coming up! I kind of feel bad about it too! I kind of slacked off this year...and last year and the year before that. Hmmmmm, come to think about it I suck at holidays. Yup, I don't think I have done anything special on mothers days.....other than get my wife pregnant and somehow timed it so our daughter was born on mothers day. I don't know if that really counts? Is there a referee that can review the rule book and make a call on that one?

The point is that my wife is really good on holidays! My birthday she remembers to organize a party, invite people, get me out of bed and dressed, get me to the party, and remind me why I am there and who those people are. She's that bad arse on this kind of stuff! Which leads me to Fathers Day.

I have been hinting that I want a miter saw. You know, like sending e-mails that say "I want this for fathers day" and maybe sending a link to the miter saw I want. Little hints that would gently nudge her with the grace of Rosie O'Donnell at a Whack-a-straight-blond festival.

So here is the dilemma....I don't want the miter saw now!!! The deal is that all the "first bills" are coming in now. Bills like the First Satellite/DSL/Phone bill that I forgot to pay last month, the first truck payment, the first (well, second) electric bill. The problem comes not from making enough money, we are fine on that front. It comes from the "first" bills are usually huge. All these connection fees, and install fees, and choosing them fees, and the fee fees.....they add up!

When it all boils down to is that getting a miter saw is not the problem, its just when. I know my wife would love to get it for me for fathers day. However, we are tight on cash this month. Even so she is offering to put it on her credit card. I know she is very uneasy about it but making me happy means more to her.

Hence my dilemma!

So let me propose this to my loyal reader. Should I:
  • Take her up on it and get the miter saw
  • Delay purchase and get it next month
  • Punch a monkey in the face

Friday, June 8, 2007

Which Star Trek character are you?

I saw this over at AD's place.....figure it was worth a giggle or two. Discover your inner nerd


Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard
































Jean-Luc Picard
85%
James T. Kirk (Captain)
65%
Will Riker
55%
Geordi LaForge
55%
Spock
52%
Data
51%
Beverly Crusher
50%
Chekov
45%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
45%
Worf
40%
Uhura
40%
Deanna Troi
35%
Mr. Scott
30%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)
25%
Mr. Sulu
20%
A lover of Shakespeare and other
fine literature. You have a decisive mind
and a firm hand in dealing with others.


Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character am I?" quiz...

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Mabelle-Ann

The more time we spend at El Rancho De Braco, aka. the house, the more people we meet. I happened to meet an old friend of mine that I had no idea lived out there. Nice dude, has a beautiful piece of property and a parrot that looks at me like it wants to bite my eye ball.

Which leads me to Mabelle, that's May-Bell for you Yanks, the mail lady. Normally I am accustom to my mail personnel carrying an air of urgency and focus when it comes to their trade. Mabelle on the 0ther hand prefers to reek of Southern Comfort and vomit her greeting of cigarette's and her morning toast.

This in no way reflects on her professionalism, which is impeccable and innovative. I've never had my mail person shove my mail into my stomach and snip "Here's your sh&t.....pus$y". I am sure I am going to see her picture on the employee of the month wall at the post office...... or the missing poster.

Good day to you Mabelle and till we meet again.

Going postal

Does anyone know what the going rate on stamps are? I still keep expecting to pay twenty five cents for a stamp and then get bend sideways when it cost me more than a dinner at Red Lobster! And why the blazes am I sending snail mail? Its only to send bills to people I owe money too! Which means I am spending more money to spend money. Hurmph!

Anywho, I pick up a booklet of 39 caliber stamps at the H-E-B. Its one of those "forever" stamps ..... which makes me reluctant to buy them for some reason. Am I getting married to the stamp? Does this make me some sort of promise-keeper? When we have kids am I able to lick their little arses and stick'em to the wall so I can go watch Myth Busters?

Whatever the outcome is, is they work. I sent in the mortgage payment with a forever stamp and my mortgage company laughed at the irony. I got a call saying that I am a forever account.

Room full of bastards! The lot of them!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The Dryer Story Part 6

CHECK IT OUT!


The vent cover is on and caulked in and properly screwed to the side of the house. My first home improvement on the house. A dryer vent.....watch out Bob Vila!

I'll spare you from the clean up photos and dryer attachment. Just know that it blows hot steamy air out the backside.

The Dryer Story Part 5

I love my new drill.....I wub it sow wery wery much. I hug it and kiss it and.....oh hey, your here. Ahem, sorry about that.
.
.
.
let's not ever bring that up again.......oh hey. Check out the damaged I did with the new drill and a 4" hole saw!




Freaking sweet! Huh? Got the holes punched and tubing in. Next I put on the vent cover and hook'er up........*snicker*. I said "Hooker"

The Dryer Story Part 4

The first casualty has been recorded....my cordless power drill wasn't up to cutting with the hole saw attachment. And as it sailed in an arch of maddening frustration across my yard and landing with a less than satisfying thud, I was already in the car to pick up a new one.

Everyone, meet my new mistress

MUW HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh the holes I can drill with this baby!

The Dryer Story Part 3

Yeeee he he he, Demolition. So much fun and I don't even mind cleaning up the mess. Oh yes, the reason why I am destroying the hutch.....besides my increasing anger at the builder and my frustration on not being done with it yet. I decided that it is not built to "my" standards or any building standard. One plug is on the ground and the other is right next to faucets which I think is also against building code.


The twisted board in this picture is the offending stud. You can also see in the next picture that the top joist is bending from the weight of the shelf. So maybe taking this thing down wasn't that bad of an idea. Although my wife is super pissed at me! Augh! A true artist is never appreciated in his own time. Hmmm, which she is more than willing to make sure my time ends soon if she doesn't get to use the laundry room soon.


Here it is all torn down

The dryer story part 2

So let's wrap this puppy up!

I left off talking about how I was going to punch a whole through the wall to the outside of the house so we can vent the dryer. Its actually a simple task for anyone with a 4" Hole saw, a power drill, a dry wall saw, a tin vent, and some caulk (and of course some screws). Yay, so we know how simple this task is and we can confirm that I know what I am doing.......so lets see how I screwed this up.

My first mistake was assuming that the builder or former owner knew what they were doing. Of course my god hates me dearly and decided that I get to strike out on both accounts. He also managed to play a practical joke on me during my finest moment. Bastard......no god, I love you. Really.......fv#ker.

Right where the dryer vent "would" go is a wall stud......which is dandy! Thanks to who ever put this hutch thingy in. El pic:

See that bundle on the floor between the kicked out dry wall section and the still-dry walled section? That the 25 amp(?) dry plug.....on the floor. I mean really, could you have please have hired Son of Sam from down the street? He could have at least talked to his alien home world to determine the correct 12" minimum distance from the floor that is required by.....oh.....let's see......the entire world. Oh yes, you can also see the scrap wood stud that was used. Which happens to be where a dryer vent "would" go. Later on where it had been, remember that phrase.