Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Working out

Here at, "Work-you-to-death" incorporated, HQ we have a gym. Its a nice gym and I think it had something to do with all the employees getting fat and dying that prompt the company to open it. They always deny that and claim it is cause they care.

ok, stop laughing now.

Last week I signed my fat arse up to the gym! And what started the big ole' ball of misery was the nice 196 lb. reading I got from the scale. Keep in mind that my body type, the Bruce Lee type, sits at 140 lb. (I think) average weight. I know you Andre the Giant type would love to weigh in at 196 again. But this isn't about you.....its about me. Focus!

So I have certified dun-lap when I wear a certain pair of jeans...so it was that and the scale thing that started all of this.

The good news that either my muscles are very happy that this is going on - or - I just never noticed this but my arm muscle definition is almost totally back. To my 2 years ago look...not my Bruce Lee look of the High School years. I noticed one of the Gym staff looking but I don't think it was out of oogling. It was more of a "Big ol' tummy and arms like that.....how does that work?" look. Answer: Masturbation, pure and simple! Tons of it....and I am going blind at the same time.

So there kids! Don't listen to your parents or your friends. Spanking your monkey at least three times a day is a sure fire way of getting looked at by the hot gym staff....just make sure you are not in the gym while you are spanking away.....the looks are totally different at that point.

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