Merry Christmas

Outside the grass is covered in its icy dew
as the mountain lion watches what I do

I lift the kids from their car seats to
warm blankets and bed time sheets

The Rastafarians next door are snuggled warming together
in their hookah room jamming to a Bob Marley CD

The Pagan tree in the living room is colored smartly with anti-semitic glee
and the presents in daddy's closet are wondering "Where will he put me?"

"How will Santa get in" my son soon asks,
"Carefully and quietly" I respond with Smith and Wesson in hand

"Good night son, I love you" I say when I walk across the floor
"Please don't kill Santa" I hear as I close the door.

Out come the gold and silver wrapped presents, the red and green colored bags, on come the stripped and circle wrapping paper all in the Christmas tree presence

Its then I see the note to Santa pleading that my son is not a meany
And proof is this gift of a Christmas Martini (With cheese and crackers)

Up comes the guitar and microphone made for a youngster
put there by Mr. and Mrs. Claus. straight from the wal-Mart trash dumpster

So begins the improvised Karaoke
and stifled giggles as Mr. Claus tried to rhyme a word like artichokie

Merry Christmas and to all a good night