Posts
Well my annual celebration of my birth is coming quickly....too quickly. Hitting one year before death (death being 30) I am harboring mixed feelings. On one hand, as I mentioned, I am about to die. I can't say that I am particularly pleased with the idea of my life ending as I know it. I mean 30.....that's when you switch from Ac/DC to a disturbing collection of Michael Bolton and Enya. House socks, those water fall things you buy a Bed, Bath, and Beyond, SHOPPING at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and those awful multi-colored globe things on the Roman column you put in your "victory" garden........its all life after death [30].
What makes this just all worse is I have to spend the last year of my life preparing for the after life. Do you know the amount of research it takes to understand the subtle positions of yoga? The correct berry combinations of yogurt? Finding a good colon doctor?!?! I mean there is not a freaking book that says "30 and your dead, here is the how to guide"! So my last year ......
The one good news is that with the IRS refund we got this year I am going to buy a telescope for my wife to give to me for my birthday. No, not the Stimulus check. We have to save that one to offset the devaluation of the US dollar due to a massive spending to pay for the stimulus plan without an increase to government income [taxes].
Yeah, sorry, the dilemma for me here is which telescope do I get. Oh, did I ever mention I like looking at stars? K, just did. So which one do I get.
Keep in mind that each is going to require a moon lens, a 2x Barlow (magnification eye piece), and ideally a sun filter lens.
The Star blast has an impressive 300x useful magnification! I can see comet sneeze with that. However it is $100 + more and has a [what I call] a lame base. I am not a big fan of the Dobsonian type base. I prefer a tri-pod in lieu of the base. It would/will be different when I have the house built and a second story deck to plant this monster down on.
The Observer has a 140x useful magnification but comes with a tri-pod, is 100$ cheaper, comes with a bunch of accessories.
Right now I am kind of leaning to the StarBlaster. It will scale to my future needs and knowing my buying habits I will not buy another scope for a long time. However the Observer is perfect for what I am looking for....a scope to share with my son. I have a hard time seeing us trying to lug the monster StarBlaster around the front property. The Observer however is something we can plop down and start gazing.
*sigh*
No, see straight death is 40, gay death is 30. You've got another 10 years, unless there's something you need to get out of ;). Actually I thought marriage was straight death, it's just us gays that have a shelf life ;).
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure that 30 is death for gays and straights. I mean look at Alyssa Milano! Super hot until 30. Now she is injecting, applying, and sculpting everything she can to stay hot. Or take Teri Hatcher, hottie when doing Superman TV show....now she is past 30 and having to play the aging MiLF.
ReplyDeleteFace it, 30 is death for everyone. 30 is when you go to pier one for matching plates. Its death....its when you start taking fiber supplements. When you start getting your colon checked...
you might as well get a tube of Ben-gay and join the local softball team in a vain attempt to reclaim your 20's.
Nope, see for the straights 40 is when you should have kids in high-school, be concerned with them going to college, and coming up on your mid-life crisis wherein you buy a penis extension, er I mean a fast car. At 30 for us gays we're no longer classified as twinks, club kids, or anything remotely sexually exciting to the college crowd. No, at 30 you either become a daddy, troll, bear, chicken hawk, or "married" with animals as children. You also lose any right to enjoy skin tight clothing ( unless you're in the buff daddy category ). Hell here's a prime example, gay porn pretty much makes my case for me. There's a whole bunch of porn dedicated to say males getting nude that are ages 18-25 then there's a whole bunch of gay porn dedicated to 40+ daddies and bears. But, you'll never ever find porn dedicated to the 30-40 crowd it's such a horrible transition period and so traumatic we won't even make porn about it! Gay men don't become sexual until they have gray hair and either lots of money and body hair or lots of money and muscles. Hetero porn stars OTOH can have long careers all through their 30s and beyond. We avoid the 30 something porn stars or stick them in the background as fillers for the foreground action. Sad as it is, gay death is at 30, and while we don't have exclusive claim to that year, we pretty much have the market cornered. So, get the hell out of queer one and BBnB, I have some decorating and soap dish buying to do.
ReplyDeleteSo what am I suppose to do now? I can't complain about 30 or else I'll be called queer. If I do start complaining then you'll start fvcking hitting on me. I'm fvcked either way....stewing in the misery that is pre-30
ReplyDeleteScrew you hippie. BTW, sorry about Friday night. It didn't dawn on me it was Monica's birthday. I should have taken you up on the drinks offer. Kids.....
I somewhat agree with Toby. but with a variation, Hetero-marriage, you're on life support, married with children, flat-line... So Bryan's been dead for 6 years and didn't even know it.
ReplyDeleteAs you see at the end of his last post, he couldn't have a beer with his friends because of being married with children.
"is when you go to pier one for matching plates." ... sounds like what married people do when they get bored....
I don't mind getting older. My 20's kinda sucked. In about 9 months I can say goodbye to this crazy-ass decade. Youth is over-rated. I won't start thinking of myself as old until I start losing my mind and relying on others for help doing menial tasks.
Maybe females have a different perspective on this, but as I approach 30 I know my best years are ahead of me. I may be dead to the young world BUT I look forward to getting to know my husband better and seeing my kids grow up and making memories with my family.
See, women get split into two camps on aging, those that age gracefully and those that decide that botox, cabana boys, and a boob job are how to survive aging. Frankly I think it's proportional to income but I could be wrong there. However I think income makes it far more likely for a woman to attempt to negate the effects of aging if she is of substantial income than a woman of average income. Even then though women seem far more prepared than us men to face aging in general. So, there you have it bryan, get a sex-change operation and you'll be ready to face 30 gracefully ;) . Oh, and your wife is quite right, you died when you got married and had kids, now all you get to do is wait for the mid-life crisis and buy yourself a mustang or some other suitable penis extension ;)
ReplyDeleteSuch as buying a $300 telescope?
ReplyDeleteYeah, well sadly you're after my own heart there so I can't say too much. I loves me some telescope time but living where I do, it never happens. So we'll call the telescope an educational purchase and leave it at that ;).
ReplyDeleteI was going to say that you could come out to my neck of the woods and enjoy some country time but.....somehow you made it sound perverted. Gay perverted at that....
ReplyDelete