Ted Kennedy

Ted Kennedy died...

I heard his last move "Malibu's Most Wanted" was a flop so maybe that is suspect into his sudden and untimely death. I did like his candid camera show though....

Its was spider-man in the end

I haven't been blogging lately because my ex-wife is pulling even more crap with me. Its not bad enough that she cheated on me, screws me out of child support, and keeps me from seeing my son. As of lately she no longer wants to meet "half way" which was actually 3/4 to her house. Now she is demanding I meet her at her house 56 miles away all because I didn't say "hi" to her one day and I don't call to see how she is doing.

Weird bizarre shit...like I give a fuck how she is doing. I just care that my son is ok. She could have a knife in her skull and I wouldn't be phased by that. Well, I mean I might if I had medical gloves on me thus making me obligated under Texas law to render aid as a first responder.

So she is using the law to punish me because she got her feelings hurt, or something. I don't know what to make of this but I have spent the last week calling lawyers and getting legal advise. Much to say, I've been bummed out. I've been dragging as around the house, dishes are pilling up, wife is wondering when I am going to get off my ass and clean, and I am sitting here wishing that I could fast forward to my sons 18th birthday.

So I am shifting through my e-mail when I see this. Yeah.... it cheered me up. I laughed..... I snorted a little. I even laughed out loud. Yes, truly... I LOL'ed :P

In the end, it was Spider-man that made me laugh.

You mother F'er

I had a totally different post in mind. I had it written and had some of the finishing edits coming into place when my wife told me about the fire chief at the Sam Bass Fire Department.

Cuse' me chief but little kids look up to us as heros. Little kids, my children even, hop on to my engine and have their minds tickled with energy and imagination I can only be in awe of. And you...someone I take orders from would do this....THIS... of all things! The red line will not cover you here. You, sir, are ....... *sigh*

I need to hold back and wait for a jury.

The Hill Country Blogger is *Fuming fucking mad*

Justified!

Remember me bitching about turning 30? That it is death?

"At age 30, patients begin to loose 1% every year of their organ function" - from my EMT-B study guide.

Death, long slow death, starts at 30! I freaking told you! I got it, I have old peoples disease! Now I am going to smell funny and shit my pants every other day.

BAH!

Now if you excuse me I need to go to my comfy chair and throw a blanket over my legs as I review the T.V. guide and yell at the kids through the window.

Big ba da BOOM!

Word has it that the guy on top uses a lighter to look down into the baffle to check the level of the gasoline. Just so you know, gasoline in its liquid form is not combustible. Gasoline in its gas form IS combustible. If you didn't know that or some reason work for the SHELL GASOLINE company then now you know.

Testie

I think I mentioned this before, I am finishing my tests for my EMT-B license. I seem to do very well when it comes to special age groups (children and old people). I also seemed to do surprisingly well on the Obstetric and Gynecologic emergencies.

Maybe I do know my way around a vagina..... who knew?

My other truck is a ...

I have the pleasure of driving my little convertible. I also have a truck for hauling. These long and uncluttered country roads are great for taking the top down and just having some "me" time. And of course, being in the country, a truck is a must.

However, the third vehicle I drive is big, red, shiny, and makes lots of g-d damn noise. Yup, my other truck is a fire truck!

I visited the department of public [not] safety a few weeks ago and took my written exam in about ten minutes. PASSED with a 100%. You don't get anything special for that...maybe bragging rights but in the face of everything else I am learning or have to learn its pretty darn insignificant.

A month later my asst. chief pushed my ass into the tanker and took me back for my driving. I got to say, I really like my asst. chief. I got to talk to him more than I usually get to do. He spent the ENTIRE time talking about tanker safety and how to pass the test the first time.

A hour later and the inspector hands me my results (which is against policy I later find out). I passed with flying colors. I am all snithz and wiggles and have a big silly grin for my NEW class B licsense photo.

So if you ever see some Texas boy driving a fire engine with a big grin on his face then that's probablly me.

Butt its a martini

Today is freaking exhausting! I am preparing for my EMT-B class, most fire fighters are also first responders. I am cramming in all my tests that I should have done a month ago.

Cheers to procrastination!

My mind is numb and for the first time in months I am hitting the hard liqueur. Wait, wait...I should preface that by saying I took a shower a few minutes ago. Its summer, my home office is at the corner of the house that gets the most sun light. Goes to figure, I feel like a greased up ass hole at rodeo night.

So yeah, there I am with a towel wrapped around me walking into the kitchen.

"Four parts gin, two parts vermouth, one part olive juice, add some ice....and shake"

3..2..1..exposure! I managed to catch the towel before more than my martini was shaking in the kitchen. However my son managed to get a view of my rear

"Oh gross! I could have done with out that!"

I was a little stunned. He is growing up so fast and his sense of sarcasm is maturing so fast.....that little son of a bitch.

Bright side: I won't care in about ten minutes

Horrible Day

"I AM YOUR MOTHERFUCKING JESUS!" I screamed.

It's 104, my car is sitting in some super hot ass parking lot, people are looking at me and I am hungry. Why might you ask? A quick errand. natch!

My printer ran out of ink and I need to run by a government office to get my immunization records. On my way out my wife asks if I can get her meds from the clinic. Ok, be back in an hour....tops.

five hours later its boiling ass hot and my car is over heating. I am having to let my car cool down for half and hour before I can drive. I can get maybe a mile before I have to pull over and let my car cool down. But I do manage to get to a parts store.

One thermostat later and an hour cool down and I am at a mechanic shop. All I need is for him to drain my radiator and let me (or him) put in the new thermostat.

clack.....clack....clack... ok sir, that will be $98 for labor.

No. The words I had for him were not nice. I can summarize by saying that centered around him being a crook and a dirty bastard for taking advantage of someone else's emergency. Well...and that I can rent a car dolly for 1/3 of that price, take it home, and actually do a good job as apposed to what he wanted to do.

[Oh, by the way, he had a "labor breakdown" sheet right behind him. One hours work is $8.91]

I'mmmmmmm fairly certain we will never be friends. And I think one lady followed me out the door and when somewhere else for her state inspection. And for you readers, it was a Meinakie shop.

Flash forward two hours and my wife is at the U-Haul place with the truck.

For a day that was suppose to be a quick errand I ended up shelling out way more money then I should have. Have got a super swell sun burn. AND have a nice bit of auto work to do tomorrow.

Sum dude

Odd things happen at night. Usually its the meth heads OD'ing and we have to cart them off to the county freezer while their "friends" have an acute emotional attack. Proceeded by complete denial when L.E.O starts asking them questions. Now I totally see where Law Dog and A.D. get their "Some Dude" statement.

LEO: So your friend just died of an OD of methamphetamine. Care to tell me why you have meth.

Suspect: Naw naw, Off-sa. Itant my mephem....merth...met...meth!

LEO: This is your house, its on your table, you reek of it, your breath reeks of it, and your showing all the signs of being under the influence.

Suspect: Naw naw, tats justb a cawntact high.

LEO: Your friend just died from it. Sure you don't want to come clean?

Suspect: Tant mine, I dawnt know tat bitch. She tust showed up and sarted usen! I hate tat bitch, shes ta one tat broke up with me. Iant never been cheaten!

LEO: k, wtf, but ok. put your hands behind your head and face the wall

And you can figure out what happens when a 60 pound hill billy runs out the door right into the 250 pound sheriff that is just arriving. Then attending to said hillbilly who is now covered with 13 day old body grease, dirt, sweat, and blood is not my ideal call.......at 3:30 in the morning.

LODD 8/5/2009

Shawn Blazer
Scott Charlson
Edrik Gomez
Matthew Hammer
James Ramage
Steven Renno
Bryan Rich
Roark Schwanenberg
David Steele

Remember these heros

Mydixadrill

Tylenol is acetaminophen, Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, Advil is ibuprofen, and so on.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced today that they have settled on mycoxafailin.

Names also considered were: mycoxafloppin, mydixadrupin and mydixarizin and my personal favorite, mydixadrill.

Internet Exlorer

Internet Explorer fucking sucks. I mean is reeeeeeeally fucking sucks. So fucking bad that 1 out of 2 times is fucking locks up hard than a tranny getting kicked in the nuts. Seriously! What the fuck?!

By the way, I am posting from FIREFOX. Cause it doesn't crash every fucking half second.

Stupid volly probie shit

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Some new blong links

I added some new blog links. Mostly female fire fighters.

I have a great deal of respect for the true female FF's. They work their asses off to match or exceed the abilities of their male counterparts, don't ask for "special" treatment, and don't ask to change the rules just for them....well other than their own bathroom. Not only do they have that but they also have old timers and jackasses that just plain don't want them in the service.

So you have that.... THEN you also have females that come in and make it harder on the ones that work hard and play hard. You got the femi-nazies who want to bust balls and get their NOW girlscout badge. The whiners who want a whole different play book just for them....like dying in a fire is somehow gender bias? And then the Firehouse fucks who joined just so they can fuck every fire fighter in the house.

These ladies of the Maltese cross have everything a man has to face, plus the BS politics, and even some of their own gender ready to screw their game. They take it like a man and then some....

My helmet is tipped to you ladies and your blog link is added to the blog list. I hope everyone gets to check their blogs out. Good stuff!