On the topic of losing ... Part Two

On the topic of losing ...

I had to learn to first be ok with were I was at my life. My starting life-goals were to be rich and comfortable, I can hear you laughing at this point. Something about me; I was a rock-star in my twenties! I started off as a temporary employee and in a short few years I was in global operations. My peers, most in their 50's, respected and resented my technical and operational acumen. Here I was a cocky 25 year old performing and exceeding people twice my age. Then 2008 happened and I was let go. I began to realize that my layoff from Hell inc. was painful and I could not see that from my veil of anger. I felt like I had been tricked, used even. In truth I was but I wasn't totally innocent. I had a boss that fudged results and claimed my work for their own while pinning failures on me. I was so blind in despair that I didn't listen to myself; letting someone ultimately define me. Eventually defining my career or lack there of.

I learned, years later, that I need to break out of my comfort zone and define my situation and my image before someone else does. It's hard for me, I am a numbers guy. I see logic and patterns, optimization and improvements. I don't do feelings..... well not until they do me. I had to learn a new skill set. A skill set of how to be an emotional human!

My other lesson, again learning years after the event, was to be ok with I had done. I gave Hell Inc. the power to "take away" my success. That power was mine to not give away but in my anger I did. I blamed them for my poverty and for the sad state I was in after my lay-off. I adopted a victim persona and that held me back for many years.

My accomplishments came from my heart and from my head. It didn't come from my badge or the office that I used to call mine. Years later I learn that I am not alone and that many out there hang their hat on their title or company. They, as I, never realize where the true power comes from. In this shadow a hole is created... to be continued